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Making Friends in College:
Where to Meet People
In high school (and earlier) making friends is something that happens by accident. Of the people you are placed in a classroom or playgroup (or in an online community), some people you will connect with more than others; that's your friend group. In college the time you spend in any one classroom, workgroup, recreational activity, or other public / semi-public space is much shorter and the number of people is much greater. As you spend less time in environments with more people, those moments of connection are less likely to happen as naturally as they seemed to in high school and earlier, and it can be difficult to know what is or is not a good place to meet people.
Here is a list of the best places to meet people and make friends when you're new at a college or university. We've also included in the description of each location the best timing to approach new potential friends. For more information about what to say and how to say it, check out the content we offer through the link at the end of this article.
Subscribe Now! To Join our Monthly Q&A
Here you will can ask specific questions to get specific answers from the AYT Team. Use this exclusive channel to send us your inquiries about Making Friends in College, using the Greet-and-Meet, and other methods. Throughout the month we review the questions, gather our research, and publish a video with our answers to situation-specific questions. Our monthly video will contain all answers for all questions asked that week, with complete respect to the confidentiality of anyone who asks for our tips and advice (no names, and no personally identifiable details).
The first video in this subscription is an introductory video, with well over 1 full hour of nuance into these meeting locations, how to approach new potential friends, and how to keep a conversation going in a way that is personalized to you!
These videos are only available to our subscribers.
By subscribing sooner, you'll be one of fewer people - which means we have more time to devote to answering your question. Stay with us longer, and we will, over time, get a feel for your situation, your goals, and what sorts of strategies work for you. We look forward to connecting with you there!
Crowded dining hall or cafeteria
The cafeteria, dining hall, or food court is a great place to make friends because it is a public space where you and everyone else around you will coincidentally be together multiple times per week. This makes it a good place to meet people because the first chance you have to interact with any potential new acquaintances or friends will likely not be the last chance. You might share a small comment or conversation with a person one day, introduce yourself to them later, and even share a meal together multiple times before the suggestion of hanging out in another context than the dining hall ever enters the conversation - taking your time in this way is a great way to give yourself a chance to allow friendships to develop naturally - rather than trying to meet a person, introduce yourself, find a connection with them, and schedule a time to hang out; all during the first time you interact with that person.
If the dining hall is a bit crowded, then that's all the better. With limited seating there is an unspoken public expectation that strangers might ask to share a table with one another. The best table to share with will be a pair or trio of people who are not talking much, or who are talking with less energy and emotion. Trying to share a table with a big group, a high-energy group, or a pair of diners in a more intense conversation; will likely feel uncomfortable for the newcomer, whereas a low-energy pair or trio will often welcome the newcomer as an interesting surprise during their otherwise mundane dining experience.
Solo diners are difficult to predict in their receptivity to an unexpected dinging companion: sometimes a solo diner is bored or lonely and wants company, sometimes a solo diner is enjoying their private meal and doesn't want company, sometimes a solo diner had a rough day and wants to be cheered up, or left alone.
If you are approaching strangers and potential friends to share a table in a public dining hall, remember that your objective is to have a mutually enjoyable meal - that means if a person declines your request/invitation to share a table with them, find a different table. Both of you would not have an enjoyable meal otherwise.
Public events on Campus
Public events on campus such as arts performances, guest speakers, cultural festivals, sports events, and celebrations for both the start or the end of term, are all regular occurrences at most colleges and universities. These events are usually located in large buildings or open areas central to the campus and along well-trafficked routes - attracting attendees who planned in advance to be there as well as spontaneous passers-by - and for this reason public events can be a viable place to meet and greet new friends and acquaintances when done within the right timing and areas of the event.
Near the stage of a speaker or an art performance will usually not be a good area to attempt starting a conversation, as such places are highly focused in the direction of the stage. Similarly places where attention is needed to navigate the surroundings (particularly such as the front of a line of people waiting to get through a door or making their way toward a refreshment table) tend to be areas and moments wherein to pause conversational attempts.
The lower energy areas and moments of an event (such as the outer edges or a crowd, a sparsely populated refreshment area) are the places where an aside comment or friendly greeting can potentially start a conversation about the event itself and what's going on around you. These areas and moments may also be a chance to introduce yourself to any people who you recognize as familiar from elsewhere (other events or environments) but whom you have not met yet. Also, if there is a significant amount of time spent waiting in a line or queue, you can chat with a group near your group (any two or more people) as well as merging groups if all parties are so inclined after introducing yourselves and chatting for a bit.
Student Clubs - after the meetings
Student clubs and organizations are often community-oriented and niche-focused ways for student participants to build their working skills during their time in school. Clubs are also a great place to meet people and make friends, as there is almost always a meet and greet portion of any club meeting during which introductions can occur. These introductions may be a formal part of the meeting wherein all the people present at the meeting introduce themselves to the room at large, or this meet and greet portion may be an informal affair whereby individuals might strike up spontaneous conversations which have nothing to do with the club or the meeting. It is also perfectly fine to visit a club once or more purely to meet potential friends – though if you are attending club meetings only to meet new people, then it is best to be direct about that intentions early on when introducing yourself so that you can make sure you aren't intruding on any members-only type of meetings.
Classroom of your Classes
Classroom environments are arguably the whole point of why you're attending a college or university, and classrooms are also a place to meet potential friends and acquaintances. The best time to share an in-passing comment with a classmate, or to inquire about the coursework of that day or week, or even to introduce yourself formally; will usually come in the small window of a few minutes just before class begins or the few minutes just after class end. While everyone is settling in or getting up to leave presents an excellent opportunity to share a casual remark - at a later time (either later in the day or later in the week) you can follow up and introduce yourself formally if you hadn't done so already.
Niche Environments (e.g. gyms, pool, dorm, etc)
There are some people who you've never met before, but who you see regularly in the places you often visit (such as the gym, the swimming pool, nature trails, libraries, the common room of your dorm, recreational areas, and other public spaces). If these people look vaguely familiar to you, and you recognize them as inhabitants of such public spaces where you often visit, then you are likely to be recognized by them as a fellow inhabitant of your shared, commonly visited public space. It is completely reasonable to share a casual greeting or comment with people you recognize as regular visitors to shared public spaces; and after several comments or greetings in passing over the course of several days, you might even introduce yourselves formally.
Do make sure to be aware and respectful if someone seems uncomfortable with being approached, and interacted with. Respect their space and solitude if that is the case - just as you or any reasonable person would want respect of their own space or solitude when preferred - but until such preference is clear or present you can reasonably expect that greeting and meeting potential friends and acquaintances is a reasonably socially acceptable thing to do in public spaces
Subscribe Now! To Join our Monthly Q&A
Here you will can ask specific questions to get specific answers from the AYT Team. Use this exclusive channel to send us your inquiries about Making Friends in College, using the Greet-and-Meet, and other methods. Throughout the month we review the questions, gather our research, and publish a video with our answers to situation-specific questions. Our monthly video will contain all answers for all questions asked that week, with complete respect to the confidentiality of anyone who asks for our tips and advice (no names, and no personally identifiable details).
The first video in this subscription is an introductory video, with well over 1 full hour of nuance into these meeting locations, how to approach new potential friends, and how to keep a conversation going in a way that is personalized to you!
These videos are only available to our subscribers.
By subscribing sooner, you'll be one of fewer people - which means we have more time to devote to answering your question. Stay with us longer, and we will, over time, get a feel for your situation, your goals, and what sorts of strategies work for you. We look forward to connecting with you there!
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